ok lemme come educate you young skywalker rocky horror is STEEPLE in the gay community my guy like a rite of passage you can keep your ally card if you watch it with me otherwise ur homophobic
so to answer your question someone would rent it three times a month because they are a homosexual there is no other reason they're at least trying to figure out why tim curry in drag is making them feel the tinglies ok why who are we stalking
what? why have you not told me this before? i should know this. robin. why didn't you prepare me to know this? NOW I FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE FUCKING ASSHOLE.
um. okay. i'll watch it. [ he's not sure how he feels about tim curry in drag, honestly, but he can't really picture it either so like who is he to say no to watching it in solidarity? ]
HAHAHAH i don't know i mean sometimes like straight women just like musicals or whatever oh yeah its a musical by the way but i guess eddie is also definitely not a straight woman but i mean straight guys could like it too its just like super gay like liberace eating a banana gay like elton john gargling lube gay NOT THAT i'm not saying that about eddie obviously i mean he's pretty eclectic and he likes weird stuff meatloaf is in the movie too idk maybe
maybe it's just a music thing trying to learn the bars to hot patootie or something
um you could totally ask him about it though he would know better than me obviously
( it does feel weird to ... know something and not tell steve about it, though. it feels too borderline to lying to keep robin's armpits from sweating profusely, but she's also not going to do eddie dirty like that. at least — she thinks she isn't. because. if steve also liked boys, that would be.
super cool, actually. but. she's not the goddess of determining peoples sexualities or what have you, and the world actually does not revolve around her, so. butting out of it, yes. attempting to. but if steve pushes, she knows she'll crumble like a house of cards. this is why no one should ever tell her anything. )
ROBIN. I TEASED HIM ABOUT IT. I CALLED EDDIE MUNSON OUT FOR RENTING IT THREE TIMES. [ also outing himself for snooping in his rental history which, like, how fucking creepy is he being right now????? ]
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS AND I TEASED HIM AND EDDIE MUNSON RAN AWAY FROM ME. I AM THE WORLDS BIGGEST ASSHOLE.
and fucking gross. ugh. gargling lube would be so gross it's too thick for that shit. and wasteful. [ that's what he's stuck on right now. he's spiraling, don't call him out. ]
what is hot patootie? that does not sound like eddie's metal style.
okay. okay... knowing he ran away. how badly would asking go? ROBIN HELP ME.
and also — poor eds, though robin is too well versed in steve lore & communications to misinterpret this as anything Actually Cruel on his part. she just knows how below the belt any slight against your sexuality hits, even when you know better. )
hot patootie will be introduced all in good time ok
look steve it's not that bad im being 100% serious okay it's really not that bad
look before i talk about that lets you and me lets play a little game ok we know what eddie's rentals look like tell me what the hair's rentals look like
how is it not that bad? i definitely feel like i've fucked something up here. especially given your first 'who rents it three times a month' answer!!
what? [ this is a suspicious turn of events. but okay, fine, he's game. there is nothing incriminating in steve's rental history. ]
okay, sure. mine does not include rocky horror picture show.
just uh.. recently? fast times, ferris beuller's day off, st. elmo's fire, breakfast club? [ there's a very certain cast in here, steven. also, the number of times ferris beuller has been rented definitely exceeds three. ]
ok maybe its a little fuck up but on the scale of fuck ups its really not that bad totally undoable ok i promise
uh huh so
( it's not as uniquely easy as discussing with eddie — who is a breath of fresh air, because he actually knows who he's hankering after, while steve is just. he has nancy blinders on, or something. he forgets other people exist. he's probably never even considered he could like boys, though it's not something robin can really blame him for.
still, there's some obvious connective tissue between all these movies. robin feels like she's solving a mystery, a bit, trying to learn something about steve that maybe he doesn't even know about himself. )
ferris matthew broderick breakfast club judd nelson don't you think those two are kinda i mean they're a little bit like eddie right
all i'm saying is remember when i rented sixteen candles every week for like three months just so i could stare at molly ringwald it's giving Vibes harrington
it is a douchebag fuck up. like asshole glory days fuck up! [ except like he wouldn't have cared this much in his king steve era so this is a level of personal growth. someone be proud of him. ]
ok just wanna say not sure how obvious it was to you in the moment so i'll just hit the rewind button and replay the part where you said eddie is hot not your straightest hour harrington
i have a best friend code emergency that i'm like exploding to tell you but i don't want to be a total jerk but oh my god steve if you think you might like dudes like even just a little bit not even a full on gay crisis just like the 2% milk of gay crisises i like have to have to tell you that not only is eddie into guys he's also specifically drank the harrington juice which is to say i think he's definitely into you and by think i mean he's explicitly told me and i didn't tell you because i didn't want to be a jerk and out him before he wanted to tell you but omg STEVE A HOT GUY LIKES YOU HOT GUYS THINK YOU'RE HOT
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i thought you were an ally
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no, i mean i am!!!
but i don't know everything?
should i know about this?
am i losing my ally card over this????? [ honestly, he probably should. ]
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rocky horror is STEEPLE in the gay community my guy
like
a rite of passage
you can keep your ally card if you watch it with me otherwise ur homophobic
so to answer your question
someone would rent it three times a month because they are a homosexual
there is no other reason
they're at least trying to figure out why tim curry in drag is making them feel the tinglies ok
why
who are we stalking
no subject
what?
why have you not told me this before?
i should know this.
robin. why didn't you prepare me to know this?
NOW I FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE FUCKING ASSHOLE.
um.
okay.
i'll watch it. [ he's not sure how he feels about tim curry in drag, honestly, but he can't really picture it either so like who is he to say no to watching it in solidarity? ]
wait.
... but eddie rented it three times.
1/4
aw you're my complete asshole 🧡
it's ok we will watch it and you will not get it at all
but i think we'll have a good time anyway
ah
2/4
3/4
have i become that person?????????? )
4/4
i don't know i mean sometimes like straight women just like musicals or whatever
oh yeah its a musical by the way
but i guess eddie is also definitely not a straight woman but i mean straight guys could like it too its just like
super gay
like liberace eating a banana gay
like elton john gargling lube gay
NOT THAT i'm not saying that about eddie obviously i mean he's pretty eclectic and he likes weird stuff
meatloaf is in the movie too idk maybe
maybe it's just a music thing
trying to learn the bars to hot patootie or something
um you could totally ask him about it though he would know better than me obviously
( it does feel weird to ... know something and not tell steve about it, though. it feels too borderline to lying to keep robin's armpits from sweating profusely, but she's also not going to do eddie dirty like that. at least — she thinks she isn't. because. if steve also liked boys, that would be.
super cool, actually. but. she's not the goddess of determining peoples sexualities or what have you, and the world actually does not revolve around her, so. butting out of it, yes. attempting to. but if steve pushes, she knows she'll crumble like a house of cards. this is why no one should ever tell her anything. )
1/3
YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
2/3
ROBIN.
I TEASED HIM ABOUT IT.
I CALLED EDDIE MUNSON OUT FOR RENTING IT THREE TIMES. [ also outing himself for snooping in his rental history which, like, how fucking creepy is he being right now????? ]
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS AND I TEASED HIM AND EDDIE MUNSON RAN AWAY FROM ME.
I AM THE WORLDS BIGGEST ASSHOLE.
3/3
and fucking gross.
ugh.
gargling lube would be so gross it's too thick for that shit.
and wasteful. [ that's what he's stuck on right now. he's spiraling, don't call him out. ]
what is hot patootie?
that does not sound like eddie's metal style.
okay.
okay... knowing he ran away.
how badly would asking go?
ROBIN HELP ME.
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and also — poor eds, though robin is too well versed in steve lore & communications to misinterpret this as anything Actually Cruel on his part. she just knows how below the belt any slight against your sexuality hits, even when you know better. )
hot patootie will be introduced all in good time ok
look steve
it's not that bad
im being 100% serious okay it's really not that bad
look before i talk about that lets
you and me
lets play a little game ok
we know what eddie's rentals look like
tell me what the hair's rentals look like
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i definitely feel like i've fucked something up here.
especially given your first 'who rents it three times a month' answer!!
what? [ this is a suspicious turn of events. but okay, fine, he's game. there is nothing incriminating in steve's rental history. ]
okay, sure.
mine does not include rocky horror picture show.
just uh.. recently?
fast times, ferris beuller's day off, st. elmo's fire, breakfast club? [ there's a very certain cast in here, steven. also, the number of times ferris beuller has been rented definitely exceeds three. ]
no subject
totally undoable ok i promise
uh huh
so
( it's not as uniquely easy as discussing with eddie — who is a breath of fresh air, because he actually knows who he's hankering after, while steve is just. he has nancy blinders on, or something. he forgets other people exist. he's probably never even considered he could like boys, though it's not something robin can really blame him for.
still, there's some obvious connective tissue between all these movies. robin feels like she's solving a mystery, a bit, trying to learn something about steve that maybe he doesn't even know about himself. )
ferris
matthew broderick
breakfast club
judd nelson
don't you think those two are kinda
i mean they're a little bit like eddie right
all i'm saying is remember when i rented sixteen candles every week for like three months just so i could stare at molly ringwald
it's giving Vibes harrington
1/3
like asshole glory days fuck up! [ except like he wouldn't have cared this much in his king steve era so this is a level of personal growth. someone be proud of him. ]
2/3
HOLD UP.
initiating crisis mode.
do they both look like eddie?
they aren't like eddie.
except.
wait.
WaIT???? ]
3/3
OKAY WAIT NO THEY ARE BUT EDDIE HAS THIS WHOLE HOT, COOL DARK AND MYSTERIOUS METALHEAD THING GOING ON AND NEITHER OF THEM DO SO IT'S DIFFERENT.
I-is it?
Is it Vibes???
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ok just wanna say not sure how obvious it was to you in the moment so i'll just hit the rewind button and replay the part where you said eddie is hot
not your straightest hour harrington
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he is.
objectively.
like i can look at a guy and know he's hot.
like tom cruise is also hot? [ but he doesn't want to-- wait.
does he want to ??? with eddie. ]
oh my god.
robin.
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steve.
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But I like boobies???
1/3
2/3
you can like BOTH
you know
hamburgers AND hot dogs?????????
3/3
A HOT GUY LIKES YOU
HOT GUYS THINK YOU'RE HOT
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why is this so hard. )
HOLD ON.
STOP.
ROBIN.
REWIND AND TELL ME AGAIN WHAT YOU MEAN BY "EDDIE EXPLICITLY TOLD M E" because what if he meant like as a bro? as a friend?